Adoption Tracing News Shows

We want to urge people to really think about the consequences of inviting news show teams to join you in your adoption tracing journey. While news stories on adoption tracing can be very good and informative to the public, on the other hand there are situations where events and information should be kept private out of consideration of the Thai biological parent(s) and family. First, let me give you an example.

We helped an adoptee lady find her biological Thai father. We put them in direct contact. Her Thai biological father is in his 80s already. The adoptee also has a Thai sister.

As the adoptee we were helping wanted to visit but made clear that she was low on money and wanted to do things on a very small budget, we agreed she could just hire an interpreter on her own who lives not far from the biological family, rather than we go to that very distant location, too, near the Lao border. The adoptee searched for an interpreter on her own and became quiet with us. We did not even know when she eventually came to Thailand.

Normally, we drive the adoptee to visit the biological family, handle the situation based on our 15+ years of experience, I take video while the adoptee and the biological family focus on the moments, my wife does the interpreting / translating, and we translate things with careful choices of phrases and words based on our experience handling these situations. However, if somebody wants to do things on their own, that's okay with us in some cases where we think it's not too sensitive as regards the Thai biological parent(s) and we don't need to manage the Thai situation, and we happily give free guidance and advice to people who are preparing to go visit their Thai biological family. We prefer to help prepare people on both sides.

Unfortunately, in this case, we did not get updates, and didn't even know the adoptee had booked her trip. It all happened quickly.

What we found out next shocked us. We saw a nationwide TV news story which mentioned the names which we recognized immediately and showed video of the adoptee arriving at a meeting point at the airport and her Thai father and Thai sister meeting her for the first time, and then an interpreter translating some of the usual key communications and responses. This raised some issues, trying to put myself into the shoes of the Thai father in his 80s and the Thai sister:

• It is emotional enough to meet a long lost daughter, the initial moment, but facing a media blitz at the same time could have been overwhelming to the Thai family, and could have detracted from what should have been a very personal and private event, not something aired for the entire Thai country to see. How would you feel if suddenly strangers from a nationwide media outlet are taking constant video of you as a main person of interest for a nationwide TV program?

• Were the Thai father and sister notified of this news coverage in advance, or did they discover it at the airport? There were no interviews in advance, such as "You must be excited to meet your daughter for the first time in 47 years. Can you tell us what has led up to this moment?" That could have happened in the day, hours, or minutes before the moment of the meeting. Instead, the program starts with their first seeing each other and walking towards each other.

• Who organized the news coverage? Why, for what purpose?

• What if this case had been like many of our other cases, where the Thai parent did not want to announce this to all their friends and associates? In this particular case, it may well have been okay to tell everybody they knew, but there are many other cases where it clearly would not be.

• What will other biological parents think when they are considering putting their child into the care of an orphanage -- that someday, they could be thrown into the news themselves as a result? What about biological parents who have already put their child into the care of a baby's home? Are they scared of what could happen if their biological child comes looking for them in a grandstanding way? Will this make future biological parents hesitant to put a needy child into a babies home, or fake their identity, or do something much worse than this in order to ensure that no child comes back looking for them with the nationwide mass media?

After we saw this on the news, which is now on YouTube with hundreds of thousands of views already, we subsequently saw another news story of this in the most popular newspaper in Thailand. Yes, reported nationwide again!! What was their reason or desire to do this?

I am writing this within days of the event and I don't know the details behind this story. Maybe the Thai biological family knew in advance, or maybe they didn't, I don't yet know.

Nevertheless, I want to say to all adoptees that if they want to contact the mass media about their own personal story, to please consider how it can affect their biological family as well as others, and get the consent and mutual enthusiasm in advance with their biological family. I'd like to urge news reporters to contact the biological family in advance of the meeting and interview them at that time, too, before the meeting, if you want to do what is best for people and society.

I'm not saying that there should not be any adoption tracing news stories or YouTube videos. There should be. They should just be done thoughtfully and considerately.

1. If an adoptee wishes to invite the news media to make a story of their adoption tracing, they should first get the consent of the biological family.

2. The news media should also interview at least one of the main people in the biological family in advance of the initial meeting, so it will be obvious to all viewers that this is all consensual with the biological family.

There can be some nice adoption tracing videos on YouTube and also some very good news stories on adoption tracing. I just think they need to be done considerately.

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